UNTIL YOU DON’T FEEL BAD ANYMORE!!!
You don’t realize how bad you feel, until you don’t feel bad any more.
It’s been just over 90 days since I’ve been knowingly living with diabetes. It took a couple of weeks for me to start to FEEL better. And then I realized just how terrible I felt.
I used to get tired going to the grocery store and skip half the aisles. But now, to get extra steps in, I walk up and down EVERY aisle. I used to have to take a break and sit in the shoe section at my favorite big box store. And now when I didn’t have time to walk and now it’s too dark, I stop at that same big box store and walk every aisle at night!
These photos were taken exactly 90 days apart. WOW you are really see it in my face.
I’m now down 35 pounds! I could finally wear my knee high boots that I got and couldn’t zip a year ago. I wore jeans the other day for the first time in forever….jeans! That was an exciting day for sure. And I want to a restaurant today and I could fit in a booth and be comfortable.
These are things that have caused me shame and embarrassment in the past. And it’s things most people don’t even think about. And now these things are motivating. What’s next. What can I do or fit in next!
Was talking with my brother the other day and I said well, I have no choice but to do the next right thing. Sure you have a choice he said. Don’t overlook that.
And yes, I have a choice. But I won’t stop this forward momentum. By me keep doing the next right thing, I am loving myself! It’s the ultimate form of self care.
Stay on this ride with me, the best is yet to be!
~One Smart Cookie
I have not always been very good about taking care of myself. It was never intentional. In fact, I was under the false idea that it’s what I should do. I was a busy single working parent. I’d give to everyone else and at the end of the day I was empty. Tapped out. I had nothing left to give. Rinse and repeat.
But what I know from experience is that you cannot pour from an empty cup.
Making this change over the past couple of years and even more so recently is making me a better mom and friend.
Rediscovering what fills me up makes me a better human.
Taking care of myself makes me healthier.
Taking my meds makes me healthier.
Checking my blood sugar, keeps me on track.
Tracking my food, keeps me accountable. Accountable only to myself.
Planning my food, makes me prepared.
Still doing the next right thing.
Still no sugar on purpose.
Down over 30 pounds.
Blood sugar average is 109.
Filling myself up first so I am able to pour into others.
I still have work to do but it’s getting easier.
The best is yet to be…
❤️ One Smart Cookie
Ps I took the pics used in this post. The tea and tea pot was this morning while at my favorite coffee shop.
A number can be a lot of things.
It could be:
- Time Since
- Time Until
- Distance From
- Distance To
- And can even be Perfect
- And numbers are sometimes letters (and that’s where I stopped liking math)
In this case….26.2 doesn’t mean a marathon that you may be thinking but this time it means the weight I have lost since being diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes.
For 63 days I have been taking my meds, eating clean, planning ahead, making adjustments, checking my blood sugar and all that effort has resulted in 26.2 pounds gone! It’s the same size as your average 2 year old. Whoop whoop.
At the grocery store on Sunday I picked up a 10 pound bag of sugar and almost burst into tears to think that I’ve lost 2 1/2 of those.
I feel so good. I am so encouraged. It’s working. I am determined. This has not been possible alone. I am trusting God and his plan for me and my life. I am trusting that God makes all things work for my greater good. I am powerless. My health was out of control and I didn’t even know where to start.
Not perfect but progress!
Stay on this ride with me, the best is yet to be.
❤️ ‘Sugar Free’ Cookie
Planning is a challenge for me. For a long time looking and planning ahead created disappointments and resentments. So not planning in some ways was easier.
Now I’m in this space where I need to plan ahead. I need to think about food options and bring it with me or have a plan with a snack in the car or my purse. What if I’m late or got busy or whatever gets in the way.
I’m still focusing on things I like. Eating breakfast. Packing lunches or having salad and something in the refrigerator at work. Making dinner and packing the left overs for lunch.
I’ve learned along the way that now that I’m actually eating and eating good stuff that I like, I get hungry. And nights when I work late, I need an extra snack cause that means dinner is later too.
I meet with a nutritionist next week. I’m excited to see what she will teach me.
My blood sugar and pressure are much better. And I’m down a few pounds too. Just over 2 weeks and new habits are forming. That’s pretty cool. What at one time seemed so overwhelming, really isn’t that bad.
It’s been like a light switch. I can’t have soda (which I love) I haven’t had a soda since my diagnosis and I’m shocked I haven’t missed them either. After the first few days the afternoon tiredness went away as I adjusted not to rely on soda and sugar and cream with a splash of coffee.
I’ve got a routine down for checking my blood sugar.
Planning for the non planner is kinda fun.
My journey continues…
One smart (sugarfree) cookie
I will remember that I am…
One tough (sugar free) cookie
One Smart (sugar free) cookie
I won’t get caught….
With my hand in the (sugar free) cookie jar
I will remember that sometimes that’s how…
the (sugar free) cookie crumbles
And that sometimes…
(sugar free) cookies make everything better
And while cookie dough is delicious…
(sugar free) cookie dough, not so much
That the game of saying ‘in bed’…
after you read your (sugar free) fortune cookie is pretty funny
I won’t forget to Keep Calm…
and (sugar free) cookie on
And at work…
(Sugar Free) cookie cutter solutions works great on (sugar free) cookies.
And to quote my favorite (sugar free) Cookie Monster….
“Sometimes me think, ‘What is friend. And then me say ‘Friend is someone to share the last (sugar free) cookie with’
My journey continues…
After taking a couple of days to digest where I was with my health, I took the first steps towards returning to health.
The first thing was to take my meds. Clearly my body needs some assistance so filling and then taking my meds as prescribed. That’s easy.
Then not having a meal plan or even knowing where to start, I did what I knew and went to the grocery store. I focused on things I like to eat that I know are healthy. I thought I walk away with 10 thing but to my surprise I found lots of healthy things I like.
I have had the bad habit of actually not eating. And then having some coffee with my cream and sugar. Which I knew was bad for me but it’s what worked at the time. And to quote Dr Phil ‘when you choose the behavior, you choose the consequences’.
Consequences are no fun. But I’m here. Type 2 diabetes is kinda scary. There’s nothing’s like finding motivation from a little fear.
I’ve eaten pretty clean the last few days. I had a follow up doctors appointment today. I was happy that just 7 days in, my numbers are already improving.
There’s a saying that I learned in my recovery program….do the next right thing. For someone who is getting used to simply eating again, I’m trying to set myself up for success by focusing on the next right thing. The next right choice.
My journey continues…
While this new journey officially started 6 days ago, upon reflection I became open for this journey since the beginning of the year.
I am actively involved in a Christ Centered 12 step program and have been for the last 3 1/2 years. This time of personal grown and healing has changed my life in many ways. Including healing parts of my heart that I didn’t even realize were hurting.
Since the start of the year, I have had the feelings that my outside didn’t reflect who I am inside. And that my weight impacted my witness. I would give lessons and think why would anyone care about what I have to say being the size that I am. Knowing full well that everyone in the room loves me anyway.
I’d look in the mirror and not know the person looking back at me. I saw pictures of myself and would cry.
And then a few weeks ago, I said out loud in a meeting…. I have carried this baggage of my sins/character defects on my person for a long time and while I feel freedom from old hurts and habits, I look in the mirror and the person looking back at me does not reflect the person I am inside.
I’ve been praying to understand. I’m not a typical over eater. I don’t fit into that mold. I have never been a good food planner. I have eat out way too much. And I have not eaten for long periods of time.
And then last Tuesday I had prayers answered in a way I never expected.
I went to the doctor from one reason and left knowing that my life will never be the same.
Did you know you are Type 2 Diabetic? I didn’t until that moment.
Everything changed….meds…a overhaul on my diet….maybe insulin….checking my blood pressure, checking my blood sugar….exercise….manage stress better.
Not terrible things. Not terrible by any means. Actually I truly believe this is an answer to prayer. I now have to have a plan and I have to take care of myself. And I have to listen to my body.
This is my starting point.
My journey begins….stay on this ride with me, the best is yet to be.
Hello, thanks for checking out my blog. For the last 3 1/2 years I have been focused of healing my inside from hurts and struggling with codependency. And now it’s time to take care of my outside.
A series of events took me to this place and my restoration to health begins now.
Recently I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. Come join this part of my journey with me.
Thanks for joining me!
Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton